not deleting my account so no one else can get this url omegalul

Man i forgot i had this app on my phone

mamoru:

kraftykrak3n:

mamoru:

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit

This sounds like it was written by a powerful being that is trapped in a human vessel and keeps having their plans thwarted by bathroom breaks. 

You know too much.

baby-ur-a-haunted-house:

jaimebeazley:

chloe-cristata:

nasaqueer:

Comedian and vlogger Elijah Daniel became mayor of Hell, Michigan, proceeded to ban all heterosexuals, and then was impeached. This singlehandedly saved 2017

Mayor Of Hell, Inspired By Trump, Declares Heterosexuality Illegal
Elijah Daniel was impeached shortly after the anti-straight people decree.
HuffPost

AHAGSHKSGSKSLK THIS IS THE SINGLE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ ABOUT?????????

This is really funny oml

image

The thrilling conclusion

thalassarche: “ Violet Starling (Cinnyricinclus leucogaster) with feather detail. Iridescence in bird feathers is due to microstructures of the feather refracting light like a prism. Fossil evidence has shown that birds have had these structures in...

thalassarche:

Violet Starling (Cinnyricinclus leucogaster) with feather detail. Iridescence in bird feathers is due to microstructures of the feather refracting light like a prism. Fossil evidence has shown that birds have had these structures in their feathers for at least 40 million years.